What I Found Out By Becoming A Life Coach
It has been 8 months since I made the decision to change the direction of my life and sign up for my practitioner’s certificate in Life Coaching. With all the information that was provided to me and all the new techniques I was discovering, I was set to go off and find my feet with some real life clients.
At the beginning, I found my coaching style to be very structured, I found it quite hard to step outside of the boundary of techniques, steps and formulas that I was given and needed to always proceed step-by-step or I was destined to fail. I thought I was getting good at always having a magic technique ready to whip out for any occasion…even if I had to ‘massage’ the session so I could use the one I had prepared earlier.
What I found out, when I stepped up to study NLP, was that all my coaching sessions up to that point in time had been all about me and not my client. I learnt about and practiced being in ‘heart space’ with my client during NLP and how I MUST get the hell over myself and be there for the client 100%. I mean yes, I had learnt this in theory through my studies, but actually being forced to put it in practice, and have someone pull me up on it when I wasn’t in heart space, was the kick up the arse I needed to feel more natural in my role as a life coach.
So I gave in and let it all go. I made the decision to leave my text books and notes at home with my next client (as I had never coached this client before and they had nothing to compare me to!) and, in contrast, didn’t do anything remotely resembling what I thought a life coach should be doing. I couldn’t hear a single formal technique coming out of my mouth…yet I was getting results. How and Why?
After sticking with my new found style of coaching for a few more weeks I found that I was starting to understand the principles of the techniques I was using. Instead of seeing the steps and formulas as ‘what’ I should be doing, I started to understand ‘why’ I was doing them. It was at this time that I decided to take the plunge and extend my studies to the Diploma in Life Coaching. To me, on the surface it didn’t look like the ‘right’ way to be coaching, but subtly, underneath the surface I knew that I was directing the same deep structure as my step by step style and producing results, and I wanted to learn more.
I have since found out that for me, there is a time and a place for both of my coaching styles, magic is in flexibility and choice, not being stuck in either style.
What I have found out since becoming a life coach is that, the point of being a life coach, is to make the future so overwhelmingly better for my client, that the past doesn’t matter anymore, because people live in the present and they move forward into the future – whether they’re looking forward or backward – and I can provide them the tools to steer them in the right direction, there is no right or wrong and as I said, the magic is in flexibility and choice.