We all get angry. Anger occurs when someone behaves in a way that violates our ‘rules’ or standards. While anger is neither good nor bad, what you choose to do with that anger can make a huge difference in your life.
Anger can be a trigger to motivate you to resolve a troubling situation. Getting angry with your spouse can force issues to the surface so you can find a solution. Anger has led to the development of many charitable organizations. Anger isn’t always a bad thing. That extra energy and motivation can be put to good use.
But anger can also lead you to do something that creates an even greater challenge. Anger has the potential to create a tremendous amount of harm.
Learning new, more constructive ways to deal with your anger can improve your life tremendously.
The best way to handle your anger depends on how you deal with it now:
1. If you suppress anger, try to recognize when you’re suppressing angry feelings. Burying your anger can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and passive-aggressive behavior.
* Venting your anger in private can help you feel a sense of control without harming anyone else. This should be considered a temporary solution, since you’re not addressing the situation that fueled your anger. You’re just defusing your anger so you don’t magnify the situation.
* The most important skill to develop is assertiveness. It’s challenging to express your feelings if that isn’t normal for you. Learn to let others know in a constructive way when they’ve upset you. Start with smaller things, and the bigger things will become easier.
2. If you dump your anger aggressively, challenge your unrealistic thinking. Aggressive behavior is commonly fueled by unrealistic expectations. People aren’t going to treat you fairly 100% of the time.
* Your children aren’t going to listen to you 100% of the time. Your spouse won’t always give you the attention you desire. Accept it and realize that you’re making assumptions when you have unrealistic expectations. The behavior of others isn’t always about you.
* Replace your unreasonable expectations with different thoughts. Seek alternate explanations for someone’s actions when you find yourself becoming angry. What are some other possible reasons for the situation at hand?
* Learn to pause and think before you act. If you’re a dumper, you’re probably like a bull in a china shop, wreaking havoc without any thought about what you’re doing. Count to ten, take a deep breath, and then speak carefully. There is nothing stronger than maintaining control over yourself.
You can often prevent situations that make you angry. Do what you can to avoid issues before they get started. If there are people, places, or situations that seem to trigger angry feelings, attempt to minimize your exposure to those triggers.
Dealing with anger is a part of life.
Just because you might have learned unhealthy ways of dealing with your feelings of anger doesn’t preclude the possibility of learning new strategies.
If you’ve expressed your anger physically in the past, it would probably be a good idea to get professional help. You certainly don’t want someone to get hurt because you couldn’t control your anger. Consider what could happen to you, too.
Practice these strategies, get the help you need, and move forward with your life. You’ll be glad you did.
Patience really is a virtue! However, it takes a lot of work to develop. This is especially true if you’re accustomed to having a short fuse.
But relax! It’s possible to develop patience in as little as one week. So if there’s an event coming up that may test your patience, you can learn how to keep things under control quickly.
It may not be easy, but the benefits are certainly worth working towards. You can develop the tolerance and calmness needed to take on the toughest situations.
Consider these strategies when seeking more patience:
1. Help out with a charity. Subjecting yourself to the conditions of the less fortunate works! Helping others is a good way for you to recognize how blessed you are. Seeing their trials quickly makes you realize you can stop worrying about half the things you worry about.
* There are lots of facilities for homeless kids and terminally ill adults. Give yourself the opportunity to experience life through their eyes.
* Impatience is the last thing on their minds. Their focus is on enjoying every moment of life given to them.
* Take note of how you feel after spending time with them. If your conscience is burdened by your past reactions, you’re on the right track!
2. Dedicate to meditate. Meditation takes you back to your natural self. You’ll be better able to deal with challenging situations when you start off at a neutral place.
* Meditation helps to build a calm spirit and focused mind, which will help you to develop patience.
* Structured meditation can take the form of a yoga or tai chi class. Get the help of professional spiritualists to help build your base of spiritual calmness.
* Meditation can also be achieved in your quiet space at home. Take 10 minutes away from the activities around you. Just close your eyes, block out the noise around you, and breathe.
3. Make patience your goal. Every day for a week, make patience your only goal. Sure, you’ll want to get things done during the day. Tell yourself that you’ll only proceed to do something if you can respond with patience.
* As you open your eyes each morning, reaffirm your commitment to being patient. Committing to it each day can make it habit by the end of the week.
* When you’re making a conscious effort to stay composed, it can happen. True, it’s difficult, but completely possible.
4. Think before speaking. This particular step may cause things to progress slower than is ideal. But it’s surely worth it! Taking the time to process your response before opening your mouth guarantees a soft answer. And guess what? A soft answer sets the tone for a civil discussion.
* Consider how it would feel being in the other person’s shoes. How do you think your reactive nature affects others? Give that some thought each time you’re about to react.
* Avoid being the reactive person in the room. Take the time to process your thoughts and ideas. That way, you may even end up with a more genius response!
Patience sometimes seems like a fleeting possibility. But it can actually be an accomplishment for a lifetime. Give yourself the chance to experience the peace of mind that comes with patience.
Your physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness all benefit when you practice patience. And the great part is that there’s no need for therapy in order to develop it!
Some of us are much better at standing up for ourselves than others. While some people can get worked up a little too easily and make a mountain out of a molehill, others are just the opposite. They’re so afraid of conflict that they always let everyone else have their own way.
This approach can be very damaging. Always giving in to others negatively affects your self-esteem and it sends the message to others that you are a push-over. When this happens, it encourages others to continue treating you in a disrespectful manner.
While there are many ways to express yourself, the healthiest option is to be assertive. The assertive approach is all about expressing your needs, concerns, and opinions. This needs to be done openly, honestly, and directly while still being respectful of the other person.
A great first step is to practice your assertiveness in lower-stress situations like these:
1. Order some food in a restaurant and send it back. Nearly every meal has something less than spectacular about it. Maybe the steak is too salty or the drink doesn’t have enough ice. Ask to have the problem rectified.
2. Walk into a fast food restaurant and request a glass of water without ordering anything. You might get turned down, but that’s fine. You’re successful if you make the request. The result is irrelevant.
3. Always give your opinion. If someone asks you what movie you want to see or what you feel like eating, tell them. No matter what you’re asked, give a direct answer. Avoid saying things like, “I don’t care,” or “It doesn’t matter to me,” or “Whatever you want.”
4. Compliment a stranger. Give a sincere compliment to a complete stranger. If you notice something that appeals to you, mention it to them. That’s it. You might even make a friend or get a date out of the deal. Certainly you can say, “Wow, those are really great shoes.”
Once you feel more comfortable with being assertive in low-stress situations, you’re ready for the big leagues.
Use those newfound assertiveness skills the next time you need to speak up for yourself:
1. Plan ahead, if possible. Give yourself every opportunity for success. Pick a time and place that makes it easier for you to speak up. Control the details to allow yourself to be as comfortable as possible. If your need to speak up is regarding a more spontaneous issue, this step won’t apply as much.
2. Remind yourself that you’re important. If you struggle to stand up for yourself, you’re most likely very good at accommodating everyone else. Give yourself the same treatment! Accommodate your own needs for a change.
3. Before the conversation, imagine your success at being assertive. See yourself being confident, comfortable, and assertive – and then getting what you want in the situation!
4. When you have the conversation, use “I” statements:
* Give the other person a report of your feelings. For example: “I feel disrespected whenever you’re late meeting me. It leads me to feel that you don’t respect me or my time.” If you’re dealing with a stranger while you’re out on the town, you might say “I don’t appreciate being spoken to in that tone.”
* Request a new behavior from the other person. Let them know what you need to feel better about the situation. “From now on, I would like for us to agree on times that you will be able to accommodate.”
5. Evaluate your effort. When you have the time, examine how you performed and see if you could be more effective in getting what you want or need. Be sure to congratulate yourself for speaking up!
Standing up for yourself can be challenging, but it’s worth the time to get into the habit. You’ll strengthen your self-esteem and bring more joy into your life. We all train others how to treat us, whether we realize it or not. Be sure you’re training them to treat you the way you deserve!
You’ll probably never get stranded on a remote island fighting off polar bears and monsters made of smoke. Still, you can put the time you spent watching the TV show Lost to good use. Think back to some of the survival skills taught by Jack, Kate, Hugo, and all their friends.
Profound Survival Skills
1. Let the fear in. Almost everything you need to know about life was summarized in one of Jack’s first lines as he was tending to victims of the plane crash. Accept your doubts and rise to the challenge anyway.
2. Respect each other. We’re all in this together. Appreciating each other makes it easier to cooperate.
3. Remember that everything happens for a reason. Events sometimes seem unfair. Look honestly at the causes. There may be habits you can change if you want to get different results.
4. Stop waiting. Once they were stranded, people found the courage to trek through the jungle. Resolve to explore new opportunities rather than remaining in your comfort zone until circumstances force you to act.
5. Give more. Taking without giving is a prescription for unhappiness. Get inspired by Sawyer, who starts out as a con man hoarding supplies for himself, and ends up jumping out of a helicopter so others can live.
6. Forget about running. There’s nowhere to run on an island without ending up out at sea. Wherever you are, face issues head on. A direct approach will build your self-confidence and solve your dilemmas faster.
7. Look for what you want to see. It took the castaways a while to notice the gigantic lighthouse standing next to them because they were so caught up in their own personal conflicts. Step back and open your eyes to spot the beauty and possibilities that you may be missing.
8. Remember and let go. As the final scenes showed us, there’s a distinction between moving on and leaving. Honor your past while living in the present and preparing for your future.
9. Live together. At some point you might have become tired of hearing, “Live together. Die alone.” Then again, success always depends on pulling together and helping each other out.
Light Hearted Survival Skills
1. Beware of winning the lottery. Hugo discovered he was happier before he became an instant millionaire and his family started squabbling. Be grateful for what you have and recognize the value in working for what you want.
2. Rent a van. Riding in a Volkswagen bus listening to Three Dog Night is bound to put a smile on your face. Think of more feel-good rituals that will fit into your daily schedule and lift your spirits.
3. Root for the underdog. Jack couldn’t believe the Red Sox won the World Series. Despite how far behind you fall, success may be just around the corner. Hold onto your dreams and keep putting forth your best effort.
4. Get a dog. Vincent, the golden retriever, spread cheer and comfort wherever he went. If your lease or allergies rule out a dog, develop some way to experience unconditional love.
5. Unplug the vending machine. Experts disagree about whether powering off the machine will really make a stuck candy bar fall down. It’s still better for your mental health than beating on the glass.
6. Do more than survive. We all need time to play. Build a golf course or find whatever makes you laugh.
It was around ten years ago when the first episode of Lost aired. Celebrate the anniversary by showing you’ve got what it takes to survive on the island and in the real world.
You’ll probably agree that starting projects can be tough sometimes. You know what needs to get done, but for some reason you find every reason to avoid getting started. Why does that happen?
Not everybody has the “get up and go” gene built in. And for you, it’s all about finding a way to stimulate it.
This “no procrastination” solution is the perfect way to push yourself. It’s perhaps the easiest way to get your tasks started and finished in good time.
Follow these suggestions to eliminate procrastination once and for all:
1. Identify the value. When trying to stop procrastinating, one of the first things to be conscious about is the value of the activity you’re avoiding. What are you getting from it? How can it benefit others? Is there actually some value to it?
* If you can identify benefits to others around you, that’s more than enough reason to get started. Hopefully, your conscience will prompt you to avoid keeping others waiting!
* If the outcome is worthwhile to you, it makes sense to get started. After all, that’s the only way you’re going to finish!
* If you can’t identify the value, then it’s probably not worth doing. There are some things that are a complete waste of time.
2. Set a schedule. Sometimes you may hesitate to get started because you’re looking at the task as a humongous challenge. If a task seems too overwhelming, it’s much easier if you break it up and schedule it into parts.
* Break down the big task into smaller, more manageable pieces.
* Prioritize them and stick to the schedule for completing them.
* Pay no attention to what’s ahead of you. Take care of one step at a time to keep the tasks from becoming intimidating.
3. Set realistic goals. Remember to always be realistic when setting goals. This means not giving yourself too much or too little time to complete a task. Be honest with yourself about what you can manage.
* What else is competing for your time? Is it more important than this current goal? Make that determination and act accordingly.
* Try to find the easiest and most complete way to get things done. Maybe your approach of doing things the hard way makes tasks seem insurmountable.
4. Reward yourself for achieving goals. Remember this psychology trick your parents used on you when you were a kid? Well, it actually works for you in adulthood! Reward yourself with something you love when you complete a task. It gives you something to work towards.
* Sometimes all you need is a break to rest. If you complete a task, you deserve the break!
* Avoid spoiling yourself. Make your rewards reasonable.
5. Do something enjoyable at the end of each day. At the end of each productive day, make time for something enjoyable. Do you have a favorite book? Or a dessert of choice? Use the end of the day to unwind.
* Treating yourself reenergizes you, allowing for more productivity the next day.
* For example, treat yourself and your friends to dinner and a movie. It helps you relax and regain your energy.
* Avoid looking at it as a reward for being productive. Instead, look at it as a deserved part of each successful day.
If you’ve been a procrastinator all your life, it will take a little time to break out of the habit. What’s important is that you have the desire to change your postponement habit! Once you kick start your commitment, it will be easier to take the steps one day at a time.
All relationships, whether romantic or not, have their fair share of disagreement and conflict. But it’s especially true of familial relationships. It’s challenging to resolve the disagreement and effectively relieve the associated tension. However, resolving conflict is critical to the health of any relationship.
How successful have you been at coming to a mutual agreement when there’s been disagreement?
Try the following ideas the next time conflict arises:
1. Adopt an attitude of seeking a solution – not trying to win. It’s important to keep the goal in mind, and the goal is not to prove that you’re ‘right.’ The goal is to understand the other’s point of view, communicate your own, and then search for a solution that meets both of your needs.
* If the goal is to win, the relationship suffers. In a great relationship, both of you should feel safe expressing your discontent and trust that resolving the issue will make the relationship better.
2. Speak up before something becomes a major issue. If he’s driving you crazy by not replacing the cap on the toothpaste, bring up before it’s happened for the 50th time and you’re on the verge of screaming. We all wish others could read our minds at times, but to date, no one has been proven to have that ability.
* Avoid saving all of your hurts as ammunition to be fired during the next fight. Doing so only makes it more challenging to find middle ground. Bring up the issues as they occur.
3. Be clear about what’s bothering you. Be specific and address the behavior. Saying, “I get upset when you leave your dirty clothes all over the floor. I would be happier if you put them in the hamper.” will go over better than, “Why can’t you pick up your clothes?”
* Address the behavior. Avoid attacking the person. When you attack the person, they will attempt to justify and defend themselves. Little will be resolved this way. Remember that you’re upset by what they are actually doing, so limit your complaint to that.
* What’s the real issue? Exaggerations, generalizations, and half-truths simply create more issues. For example, if your spouse claims to be upset about your traveling for work, maybe they’re really upset about the stagnant status of their own career.
4. Listen to the response. Often times, the person that’s upset isn’t in the mood to listen. If you want to solve your dilemma, you must listen to make progress. Remind the other person to address the behavior and not let it become personal.
5. Now it’s time to seek a solution. After you’ve both had a chance to present your perspective, brainstorm a solution together. Be willing to compromise, but that doesn’t mean you have to give in. Giving in just postpones the fight to another day. Be ready to forgive and move on when a solution is reached.
* Avoid involving others that are part of the disagreement. It really doesn’t matter what your mother thinks or her best friend believes. It’s between the two of you. Strive to keep it that way.
Fighting fair isn’t just the loving thing to do. It’s also the best way to reach an agreement and diffuse the situation. You’ll know that that a good solution has been reached when both parties are satisfied and the issue doesn’t come up again in the future. Make an effort to fight fair and you’ll enjoy stronger, more loving relationships.
People who struggle to be successful frequently repeat the same mistakes over and over. The habit of repeating mistakes can easily be corrected. All you have to do is develop a weekly habit of examining your mistakes and coming up with better alternatives for the next time.
Just as a chain is limited by the strength of its weakest link, our success is limited by the quality of our worst decisions. Eliminating mistakes is a powerful way to become more successful in life.
Try this process for minimizing the prevalence of your mistakes:
1. Set aside some time once a week. Have a specific time each week that you use to look back and examine your week. Schedule it into your week just like anything else of high importance.
2. Look back at all the important events from your week. Consider every important interaction and decision you made during the week.
* Reflect on your interactions with your family and the decisions you made related to them. How did you handle your kids? Did you have positive interactions with your partner?
* Think about your financial decisions. Include your spending and how you managed with paying your bills. Investing decisions can be included, too.
* What happened at work? How was your presentation? Did you hire or fire someone? Are you feuding with someone? Were you ever late for work? Did your boss yell at you?
* Examine your health. Did you eat nutritiously this week? Did you sleep well? Did you get enough exercise?
* Include anything else that seems important. Contemplate everything that’s important to you, including anything that involves your friends and neighbors.
3. Ask yourself what you could have done better. Where did you make mistakes? Go back over your entire week and consider how each situation could have been managed more effectively.
* It’s similar to asking yourself what you would do if you could go back in time and live that experience all over again.
* Odds are that you’ll have the opportunity to experience a similar situation in the future. Most of our lives are filled with routines and habits. There’s not a lot of novelty from week to week.
4. Look for trends in your behavior. We’re all prone to making similar mistakes again and again. Even in completely different situations, we tend to make the same sorts of mistakes.
* Are you assuming too much? Are you too impatient? Are you inconsiderate? Are you acting without getting enough information? Are you ignoring your family?
* If you can correct a trend in your decision-making, you can eliminate a lot of future errors.
5. Visualize yourself handling the situation in a more effective manner. Try to find solutions to challenging situations. Then, see yourself in the same situation, only this time you’ll take a new approach. Visualize things working out well.
* This step is super powerful, so avoid skipping it. A few minutes can really make a huge difference.
6. Think about what you did well, too! Recognize those things and resolve to continue responding in the same way to those situations. Keep the good stuff and change the bad.
Your success in life will be enhanced by leaps and bounds if you simply take the time to eliminate your mistakes. Each week, you’ll become more and more effective as you make fewer and fewer mistakes. Success isn’t all about doing spectacular things. It’s just as much about not making spectacular blunders.
Avoid making the same mistake twice. Recognize your shortcomings each week and banish them from your life.
Sometimes stress can be good for you, especially when it gives you the motivation to complete a task. Successfully dealing with stress provides a feeling of satisfaction and the belief that you can handle challenging situations. A certain amount of stress is necessary for an organism to thrive.
When faced with stressful situations, your body responds with a fight or flight response. While this response is helpful for an animal that might become a predator’s meal, it has limited utility in our modern lives. In fact, if your stress becomes chronic, it could cause serious health challenges.
So how can you cut down on your stress?
While many circumstances might be beyond your control, you do have some choices on how you approach stressful situations:
1. Cope actively. Those who have the most success at controlling stress focus on taking charge of situations and seeking solutions. If you tend to avoid challenges and wait until they only get worse, you’re compounding your stress instead of reducing it.
2. Choose how you perceive stressful circumstances. What you think about a circumstance has the most effect on you and your future in dealing with the situation.
* Will you be a victim, and feel worse, or will you take action to do what you can to make it better?
3. Relax and defuse your body’s stress response. It’s difficult to exercise direct control over many aspects of your physical stress response. Just try to will your heart rate and blood pressure to a lower level! However, you do have a lot of control over your breathing, both the rate and the depth.
* Sitting in a quiet place and taking slow, deep breaths can perform miracles. Take a slow, deep breath, hold it for two seconds, and then release it slowly.
* Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is all the rage today, but it has been around for thousands of years. All it really entails is totally focusing on the task at hand. If you’re folding laundry, you should only be thinking about folding laundry, not thinking about your spouse, work, bills, or anything else.
* It’s essentially impossible to be stressed in the present moment. In reality, when you’re stressed, you’re either stressing about the past or future. You’re either getting upset about something that’s over or worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet.
4. Get some exercise. A fight or flight response dumps a lot of chemicals into your body that get everything revved up. Burn them off with a healthy dose of exercise.
* There’s no reason to overdo it, but moving your body around in a vigorous fashion will make you feel a lot better.
5. Take good care of yourself. Most of us tend to marginalize the importance of a healthy diet and adequate sleep. This is a mistake. Your body needs nutritious foods to have a clean energy source. It also needs the proper rest to de-stress and heal from the rigors of the day.
* Find some stress-free activities than you can enjoy regularly. Maybe golf is your thing. Maybe volunteering makes you feel better. Find a new hobby that engages your mind, like chess or learning the guitar.
6. Be proactive. It is much easier to get your stress level under control when it first starts to rise. When your stress is reaching maximum levels, it’s almost too late at that point to regain control.
* Pay attention to your body and mind. When you first start becoming stressed, take the appropriate steps to bring it down.
Stress can be very damaging. Animal studies have shown that lifespan is reduced when an animal is subjected to constant stress. Take the necessary steps to get your stress level as low as reasonably possible. The quality of your life will improve and you’ll be happier.
There’s been a lot of talk about transient advantages in business circles these days. The idea of transient advantage centers around the concept that our society moves at a fast pace, making it difficult to know how long any company will stay on top. Therefore, you have to strike while the iron’s hot.
In many ways, we experience the same trends in our personal lives. These are some pointers for making the most of fleeting advantages.
Understanding the Basic Truths about Transient Advantages
1. Accept losses. Enjoy life’s simple pleasures without becoming dependent upon them. Realize that everything is temporary. Savor good times without expecting them to last forever.
2. Act quickly. It’s usually good to take your time with major decisions like getting married. When there’s less at stake, take sensible risks and jump on those daily deals before they’re gone.
3. Stockpile your valuables. Store up benefits that will soon perish. Freeze the leftover zucchini from your vegetable garden and take an afternoon off from work to watch your daughter’s softball game.
4. Move on. Break out of your comfort zone and recognize when it’s time to make major changes. Maybe you’ve gone as far as you can go with your current company and you’re ready to start your own business.
5. Make contingency plans. Fill your pipeline with additional options. If your child gets turned down by the first college they pick, encourage them to consult their list for the next possibility.
6. Pursue lifetime learning. Additional education and training always strengthen your position. Call the adult education department at your local university. Sign up for workshops on new software at work.
7. Think more broadly. Envision yourself in new roles. You may discover that you love city life even if you’ve always lived in the suburbs.
8. Focus on solutions. Think of setbacks as challenges. Take satisfaction in using your talents to enhance your life.
9. Transition gracefully. You may be changing jobs and taking up new hobbies more frequently these days. Figure out how to stay in touch with those you care about. Evaluate the skills and accomplishments you’ve gathered.
Managing Transient Advantages in Your Daily Life
1. Diversify your income. Explore how you can make some money by focusing on your leisure interests. Maybe you can get a thrill out of selling your photographs or photography services. The funds could also provide a buffer if you ever lose your job or face major medical bills.
2. Reduce your consumption. It’s easier to be nimble when you’re lean. Simplify your lifestyle and cut down on monthly expenses like cable TV or eating out. Enhance your well-being by maintaining a healthy body weight.
3. Be generous. If you want more riches, give more of your assets away. You’ll develop a mindset of abundance, and you’ll end up with more friends whom you can count on.
4. Remain vigilant. Think ahead even when your current circumstances are comfortable. Ask yourself if you’re saving enough for retirement or if you’ll be able to care for your aging parents if they become less independent. Foresight makes your luck last longer.
5. Build a circle of support. Material possessions come and go. Annual incomes fluctuate. Regardless of what the stock market is doing, you’ll feel more prosperous when you have lots of love in your life. Focus on others. Spend time with friends. Create family traditions.
6. Engage in spiritual practices. Know what a purposeful life means for you so you can remain steady when transient advantages are accumulating and when they fade away. Follow your traditional faith or develop your own system of beliefs and values.
Celebrate your good fortune while it lasts. A positive attitude and flexible thinking will help you adapt and succeed in turbulent times.
Does this sound like you?
You’ve come to realize that letting your temper run rampant is counterproductive. Deep down, you want to control your temper. You want to find constructive ways to resolve situations. But for some reason those alternate approaches just seem to elude you.
If that describes you, and you’re really serious about making a change, you’ll be glad to know that such a change is indeed possible!
In just 7 days, you can learn to approach life differently. You can discover how to take things in stride. And you can develop a greater appreciation for the viewpoints of others.
Use these strategies consistently for a week to learn how to successfully control your temper:
1. Practice meditation. Meditate every day this week. Meditation calms you. This is especially true if you do it consistently. A habitually quiet soul rarely makes room for a bad temper.
* Spend a half hour each evening before bed just meditating. Turn on the sounds of the ocean or a trickling river. Avoid letting anything else distract you.
* Practice yoga if your body can handle it. Not only does your spiritual energy benefit from yoga, but you also release stress from your muscles by doing the poses.
2. Think before you speak. Pausing before responding to someone is helpful in controlling your temper. You quickly realize that the responses you choose impact you significantly. Pausing also helps you to think rationally instead of overreacting. This week, pay particular attention to pausing before responding in every situation.
* If someone continuously does something to annoy you, avoid getting upset about it. Avoid similar situations and the accompanying annoyances in the future.
* Take a moment and put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How would you feel if they lost their temper with you? Always take the time to understand the impact of your actions on others.
3. Weigh the outcomes. What results could you get from choosing to stay calm versus acting out? This is an important question to consider, even before being faced with a trying situation.
* Each day this week, ask yourself: Did I allow someone or something to really test my patience today? Consider how it affected you. Did you get a headache? Were you having difficulty concentrating for the rest of the day?
* You may often find that losing your temper has far-reaching effects. Your conscience may be bothered after you realize how damaging your reaction was.
4. Be introspective. It’s important to continue to look within yourself. What really causes you to react irrationally and lose your temper?
* Be honest with yourself. If you’ve experienced something painful and are trying to mask it, that could be the cause.
* Unresolved negative circumstances can prevent you from truly having inner peace. As a result, you may develop the tendency to release negative energy in counter-productive ways.
* Take the time to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. Talk to a family member, friend, or even a professional therapist.
* Avoid allowing your feelings of frustration to fester and negatively impact your interactions with others.
Use these guidelines to find a place of perfect peace. After practicing these strategies consistently for a week, you’ll find that you’re automatically beginning to change your behavior. Being able to control your temper will enhance your relationships and help you successfully manage difficult situations in the future.